1. One day, I'm going to allow myself to be
convinced that I'd look super hot in Lederhosen.
2. My favorite meal will be Bier, Bretzel
and Wurst - although I've never tasted beer, you already know about my issues
with bread and I actually could go a lifetime without eating sausage.
3. In perfectly normal conversations in
English, I will unintentionally interject with "Ach, so!" or "Nee!"
or "Naja…" (Oh, wait. I
already do this.)
4. In casual, non-academic conversations, I
will tell people from other countries about their own culture, traditions and
perceived political shortcomings, all because I am convinced that I'm teaching
them something about themselves; I'll expect them to be impressed by my vast
text-book knowledge and my
I-spent-two-months-backpacking-and-hitchhiking-through-your-country-so-I-know-it-better-than-you-do
superiority. By doing this, ironically, I will be adopting a rather
well-intended but horribly insulting practice of sadly more than a handful of
Germans I've encountered.
5. Whenever someone mentions the names
Thomas Gottschalk, Dieter Bohlen or Harpe Kerkeling, not only will I know who
these people are, I will be able to instantaneously summon an image of these
people from my visual memory. (I already can. As well as Boris Becker and all –
eerily, ALL of his children.)
6. I will spend time planning for the
vacation after my next vacation. (Seriously,
people. What the hell.)
7. Eventually, I will accept with complete
understanding why some of my favorite restaurants have to close between the
hours of 2:30 and 5:30 P.M. I will also understand why a local pharmacy has to
be closed on Wednesdays. Is this the day when the pharmacist protests illness (Mittwochs Krankheiten verboten)?
8. Jack Wolfskin and The North Face
outerwear are going to be dearer to me than anything off the runway. Regardless
of weather conditions, they will be my fashion and lifestyle statement in one.
Just thinking about JW will make me feel like a badass and want to slap on a
gigantic backpack. I will look forward to their catalogues almost as much as
the one from IKEA. (*Shudder*)
9. If a dear friend of mine who hails from
a country where having two weeks paid vacation –and the financial means to
actually go on vacation – tells me that he or she is going to Paris for 4 days
and 3 nights, my initial reaction will be to scoff and say that's not nearly
enough time to "get to know the city". Because, well, just go back to
Irrational Fear #4.
10. Not only will I look forward to watching Tagesschau (the nightly news) every evening, I will think of it every day
at 7:57P.M. When the bell chimes at 8:00P.M. I will react quite similar to
Pavolv’s Dog; instead of salivating, however, I will actually hum along with the melody as it is playing.
With each passing day, dear readers, I will be one step
closer to succumbing to the inevitable process of Germanization.
It will be like the Borg and Captain JL Picard: “Resistance is futile.” I won't
go down without a fight; however, my psyche has already been forever altered.
But if I end up looking like Seven of Nine in my Lederhosen, I guess I could
eventually get over it.
Happy Weekend (Just one more day!) everybody.
xoxo CountryEuroCityMouse
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