Breaking Bread

Making friends when you're no longer a student is a challenge, no matter where you live. It doesn't matter if you're relocating cross-country or you're moving to another part of a big city; the torturous ritual of "making friends" begins anew. When we were kids, it was much easier, I think, because if you didn't want to be friends with someone, you could justify it with one sentence: "I don't like Johnny because he picks his nose."

There. Simple as that – Johnny makes one crucial mistake, and like that, he's forever banished from your circle of friends. Well, at least until high school when he gives up the nasty habit and starts looking kinda cute.

As an adult, though, everything is more nuanced, more complex. I mean, it all starts with the fact that your pool has gotten smaller over time. Generally, it consists of your work colleagues and neighbors and then extends from there. Of course, you have your friends from school and college days, but for many of us, they can literally be thousands of miles away.

I've been really blessed to have made some great friends over the years while living abroad. While I initially made many of them through my husband, over time, I've made more on my own in various situations. A few of these friendships were toxic – I can recall three of them instantaneously – and I wisely ended them. However, the rest of my friendships have been tremendously rewarding and continue to evolve as the years progress.

For example, recently, two of our friends came over to visit us for the first time since we'd moved. They brought bread, French salt and a bottle of Portuguese red wine as housewarming gifts. Not only had they taken the time to put thought into what they would bring; they also made the effort to make something from scratch. What meant even more to me personally was the fact that they baked a loaf of Roggen (rye) bread because they had actually remembered my sensitivities to wheat (while rye isn’t gluten-free, it has a lower gluten content than wheat). Such thoughtfulness is really what stayed with me throughout the evening. It doesn't take much to let someone know that you think they're kinda cool and you wish them well. As a matter of fact, the most important way to do it is by paying attention and giving some of your time. And, to be quite honest, when we sat down and ate a really nice meal together, I found it to be super awesome experiencing friendship in the most archaic of ways – literally, "breaking bread" together.

By the way, bringing bread and salt (and wine) to a new household stems from very old Judaic and Slavic traditions; it wasn't until this encounter that I learned that it's also prevalent in Germanic traditions. Although the symbolism for the items may differ slightly for some, generally, we can still interpret it as it was shared in the American classic film It’s A Wonderful Life (1946):

Mary Bailey: Bread… that this house may never know hunger.

Salt… that life may always have flavor.

George Bailey: And wine… that joy and prosperity may reign forever.

Thanks, W.J. and B.P. for such a memorable evening!

xoxo CountryEuroCityMouse

©2012-2013 CountryEuroCityMouse™. All rights reserved.

Dealing with Food Intolerances in the Land of Bread and Beer

When you make the decision to live abroad, there are always going to be some sacrifices that you’ll have to make. Some of them will be foreseeable, such as going through culture shock and working towards assimilation in language, dress, mannerisms, et cetera. Other things will be crazy little bundles of surprises that you never would have dreamed of even on your trippiest day. One of my craziest and most inconvenient surprises has been the manifestation of so-called “intolerances” within me.

Now, I have always known that I can’t tolerate stupidity. I don’t mean ignorance; I don’t mean being undereducated; I don’t mean uninformed. I just mean plain, flat-out, unabashed stupid behavior that is far too often celebrated, accepted, and, to my disgust, inexplicably imitated. I do have Stupidity-Intolerance and I struggle with it every day. Fortunately, I know I’m not the only one who has this form of intolerance, so it helps to be able to talk about it with sympathetic listening ears.

Sadly, shortly after having moved to Germany, in addition to the first, I developed new intolerances to deal with. I was constantly ill, lethargic and feeling poorly most of the time. It was so bad; at one point, I was scheduling my week around doctor’s appointments. To make a long story short, after no fewer than 12 doctors, too many invasive procedures, a lot of helpful suggestions from my dad (who strongly encouraged me to look into natural healing & homeopathy) and a doctor friend of mine (she introduced me to the western adaptation/incorporation of Traditional Chinese Medicine, or TCM), I’ve been dealing with lactose intolerance and more recently, glucose intolerance.

There’s no need to get into all of the details, but I do think that it’s important for you to know that if you are going to spend a significant amount of time in Europe, you need to be aware that the pasteurization process of milk differs from that in the US. I’ve heard from many people in the US military that they developed these intolerances while being stationed abroad, so this isn’t anything new. Nevertheless, it’s important to know about. For example, I wasn’t “lactose intolerant” when I was at home in the US, and even when I go home, I can eat some things that I would never lay a finger on anywhere in Europe. I can eat acceptable amounts of Häagen Dazs or Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and it won’t bother me, but then again, they’re both American products. Go figure. Any other ice cream brand or dairy product (excepting butter & hard cheese) is pretty much a no-go for me. This is an adjustment that I was not necessarily prepared for when I signed up to live in ‘Schland.

The latest intolerance I’ve developed is just a shame. Germany is known for all kinds of food products, and unfortunately, I don’t really eat or drink the top three. I have never tried a drop of beer in my life (and I really don’t intend to), I am not a fan of sausages unless my father-in-law picks one out for me & insists that it will “change my life”. (It usually doesn’t, but at least it tastes good.) Admittedly, I’ve never been a major bread lover anyway, and if anyone knows of the horrors that can be experienced when your body turns against you because of bread, you learn to stay away.

CountryEuroCityMouse™

But it’s Germany! The breads here are amazing. They’re big, small, fluffy, and dense, of varying shapes and sizes and even combination of grains. It’s really very hard to say no, especially when throughout the day, you smell more Brötchen being freshly baked, or you see small children holding onto their Bretzels with a death-grip. I’ll tell you, do not harass anyone in Germany who’s got bread in his or her hands or mouths. That’s a blatant invitation for an altercation, big or small, young or old. Bread is something sacred in this country. There are so many idioms that use “bread”, the discussion of bread baking practices is common political fodder, and many people still call dinner Abendbrot (evening bread). This is fitting, because generally, breakfast and dinner incorporate breads, while lunch may often be the warm meal of the day. No joke – I could devote an entire blog to Germany’s love affair with bread. It runs deep.

Fortunately for me, it’s becoming more common here to offer gluten-free breads (rice or corn-based) or breads that are baked using spelt (Dinkle), which usually doesn’t bother those who are “just” glucose intolerant.

I’m curious to know if any of you have similar experiences in your respective countries. It certainly forces me to be more creative, picky and informed in my eating practices!

xoxo CountryEuroCityMouse

©2012 CountryEuroCityMouse™. All rights reserved.