Apparently, I'm "glowing". I figure that's okay as long as I'm not sparkling. Strangers have constantly been coming up to me commenting on how happy and serene I look. Thankfully, no one has asked me if I'm expecting or else I'm sure that peaceful look would have disappeared quickly. To be honest, I feel more pumped up than anything else. All of this pent-up energy is making me want to go to the gym to let off some steam. Almost.
Although I know that there are so many things that I will miss, most of all my family and dear friends, I must admit that I feel like giving perfect strangers stinging high-fives and making random fist pumps in the air a couple of times a day, so I suppose that is a clear indication that I'm feeling pretty good.
Okay, so while Americans are completely familiar with the awesomeness that is known as the High Five, and are generally taught to deliver and receive it at around nine months, in my experience, Germans have mixed reactions to it. It's kind of like the gehasst, verdammt, vergöttet (hated, doomed, adored) thing. They hate it, love it, fear it or are extremely confused by it.
If you're an American in a casual situation and something amazing just happened, watch yourself and see if you don't throw a hand up in the air, ready to slap a high five. If you're with other Americans, it'll be less than a second before there's a response to your call. Over the years in Germany, I've had to hone that ingrained reaction to give High-Fives and gauge my audience first. The few times when I've tried the exchange with Germans, aside from confusion, usually one of three awkward responses occurred.
1. The Cringe. No, the High-Five is not a form of abuse. It's like a firework – a quick burst of celebration, when you have so much uncontained joy it must be channeled through your body and out of the palm of your hand. Kind of like a superhero focusing his or her superpowers on one thing. You don't fear the High-Five. You embrace it and respond accordingly.
2. Passive Acceptance. This response always ticks me off. There is nothing passive about giving or receiving a High-Five. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. That means when you see someone's ready to slap one on you, you prepare to slap one back simultaneously - don't just stand there with a tense palm and fearful expression as if you're holding a catcher's mitt and expect a baseball to suddenly land in it. Come on, folks.
3. Retaliation. This one makes me laugh inside each time. Apparently, the fight or flight instinct kicks in, and the person looks panicked and ready to defend himself or herself. By the time they realize what's happening and recover mid-swing, they've missed the pro-offered hand by a mile. The joyful moment is replaced by embarrassment, nervous laughter and avoiding eye contact. Priceless.
Seriously, I could go on forever about the types of awkward High-Five Exchanges and comment on the timing, the accuracy of the hit, the fact that if you mess up delivery, you should not have a "do over" (try again) immediately afterwards. Once, I saw a group of grown men miss each other's gigantic hands and try three times in a row. Gents, that ship has sailed. Go home and practice, and then try again some other time. (Then again, it was in a beer garden, so there may have been other factors hindering their performance.)
Come to think of it, delivering the perfect High-Five is actually a
work of art. No wonder those who haven't grown up with it seem to have such difficulties. Maybe back in the States I'll offer an Americanization course and include a lesson on it – Pass/Fail.
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